Thank You For My Note

A couple weeks ago I left a note for Little Miss & Little Mister with their after-nap snack. Later that afternoon Little Miss was sitting at the table with her art supplies “Mom?”“Yes, Sug’?”“Can I have one of your envelopes?”“Yes. Just one.”A couple minutes later “Mom?”“Yes Sug’?”“Can you write what I say on this paper...

Brokenness bound to Brokenness

It happened “You are her mother?” “Yes.” A few minutes later “Is that your little girl?” “Yes.” Then it struck me. How many times in this very waiting room did I have to answer, “legal guardian” or have a mental tug-of-war when unknowing strangers would ask a simple question about our relationship. “Am I deceiving them...

Land mines and Shrapnel

On a November evening “landmine” had been rolling around in my head. It had been a doozy of a day. Lots of triggers, outbursts, and unexplainable meltdowns. In the calm and quiet of the evening I googled “landmine” and thought, “that’s our reality.” According to howstuffworks.com “As time passes, the location of landmines is often...

Love is Anybody

Mom where is a hammer and a nail?” “Uh. What would you do if you had a hammer and a nail?” A few weeks ago Little Miss came in for a break from “building” a “house” with her brother. She had brought in a piece of wood and decorated it. “I just think we need...

Blessing in the Outcome

Human comfort vs. Diving blessings. Are they synonymous? Can we gauge our divine blessings by our human comforts? Within the American Church culture we seem to equate blessing with comfort. You get a pay raise? "Praise God! He sure is blessing you." Financing goes through for your dream house? "God answered your prayers! You sure...

My path my pace

The Light shines through to illuminate the path. Even when we can see what is in front of us, if we look away from the path set before us or if we begin to journey too fast, the loose rocks and uneven terrain could knock us off our feet before we could catch ourselves from...

A Tangled Mess

"Stop being mean!" "I'm not being mean. I am kindly getting your tangles out." "Don't hurt me!" "It may hurt a bit. I will comb your hair until the tangles are out." Little Miss and I have been having some form of this conversation fairly consistently for the past 22 months -- since she came...

Honestly

"Where's Momma? Where is your Momma? You love that Momma don't you?" Simple questions. Loaded reality. "Let them want you." It was a simple sentence. A simple statement. A loaded request. "I don't know how," was my 1am tear-filled response to The Groom. I have been battling since the day I met our Littles. The...

Succumbing to the death of me

33 years old. I remember the day my mom turned 33 years old. I felt such dread come over me. I spent the next 12 months wondering when it would happen and how we would survive. 33 years old. That's when Jesus died and that's when my mom would die. Or so my melodramatic 10 year...